Been awhile since I've been on. Been a busy week. Last Sunday, we went to my parent's house. In part because a bunch of Mom's family (brother and sister-in-law, sister and brother-in-law, mother, and step-father) were coming to visit. We ended up going because my Dad said that since Mom was going to have so much going on, a few more people wouldn't hurt. Mom was at the point on Sunday where she was saying she is done with chemo because of the nausea she experienced. She told her family this. Her sister had talked with my grandpa's oncologist and got the names of some oncologists near my parents. She encouraged my mom to look for a second opinion. My mom was convinced that since her oncologist didn't look her in the eyes, it meant that she is going to die regardless of treatment.

Anyway, Mom was not wanting to pursue any further treatment. After everyone left, Amy and I talked with Mom and Dad about glyconutrients. We shared with them what we've learned about the supplement and how some people have gone into remission and have even become cancer free using the glyconutrients, in some cases after doctors have told the people there is no hope. Mom agreed to give them a try, which was a weight off my heart. If we hadn't tried this, I'd always wonder "what if???"

A not so funny thing, my uncle Rich asked me about getting some pot for Mom to help with the nausea and appetite. I told him that if it came to that, I'd do what I could to see that she got something. Somehow between my parent's house and my grandmother's house, it was twisted into my giving Mom THC capsules. My brother (bless him) did put out the fires and talked with Mom to find out what I'd given to her. He did write an email that brought up all sorts of emotions in both me and Amy. We talked on the phone Tuesday night and sorted things out.

Where things are at today: Dad had a colonoscopy today. Only one polyp and everything else looked clear. Hoping it isn't anything. If it is, I will completely freak out. Fetal position, sucking my thumb for the next six months.

Also today: Mom told me she is going to pursue a second opinion. She does want my brother and me to come home for a part of a day this weekend. She said she wants her affairs in order and to let us know what she has planned. Not looking forward to that, but I am happy about the second opinion. Means there may be other options open to her.

I also am encouraged as I'd read a testimonial on the Cancer Treatment Centers website of a woman with stage 3B ovarian cancer. She was essentially told to go home and die. She went to the Center and was cured of her cancer. My parents have a woman in their church who goes there and a friend of mine has a friend receiving treatment there as well. Both have volunteered to talk with Mom about the Center, treatment, etc. I think it may be good for her, especially now that she seems to be gaining some strength (the chemo working? the glyconutrients?) I also liked the site because I learned a few things that I want to ask the doctor my parents are going to for the second opinion.

Lastly today, Mom told me she is going to hold off on the glyconutrients as a last resort. She was having problems taking the pills because she's just started keeping food down consistently again.

Amy is visiting her parents with the kids. Didn't get much time to spend with them over Christmas, partially because our dog is not welcome there (she bit one of Amy's cousins about 9 mos. ago). We'd normally leave Lucy (our dog) with my parents while we went on to Amy's folks. This was anything but a normal holiday. I miss having Amy and the kids here. It's too quiet. I keep wanting to check to see if everything is okay.

Going to close with song lyrics from a song on Nanci Griffith's "Clock Without Hands" CD. The song is "Last Song for Mother". I heard it and had tears running down my cheeks.

LAST SONG FOR MOTHER
(Nanci Griffith)
Irving Music, Inc./Ponder Heart Music (BMI) Administered by Irving Music, Inc.

If I promise not to cry
Will you look me in the eye
And tell me that you've known me?
I was your late, your lonely child
I am enhanced by all you've shown me

And in my youth I did defy you to the end
Please forgive my wildness then
Even I can't comprehend
What a mother's love has lent
To all that is me

And will you sing this song again?
Let us sing it hand in hand
While the band is still playing
Before the light can lose your hand
Before I lose my voice again
Let us sing it while it's playing

And if I promise not to cry
Please look me in the eye
And say you've truly known me
'Tis the sweet sound of goodbye
Amazing grace how sweet the sound

Between your soul and mine
If I promise not to cry
If I promise not to cry