Last week Monday, I had a lot of trouble with my gut. Started in the morning and didn’t seem to improve as the day went along. Didn’t think a whole lot of it as there was nothing the next day… until mid-morning. Even then, not pain as much as discomfort. No improvement Wednesday and my body seemed to decide enough was enough and to liquefy everything in my guts in order to facilitate a fast evacuation. Things were improved on Thursday and through most of the weekend. Today, I feel okay. I know I’ve not been taking in enough fluids and have to wonder if that is part of what is going on. Also wondering if my prostate problem is coming back due to stress.

I was scared by that pain because it is how everything started with Mom. The therapist in me was refuting all the irrational thoughts, but there was still a part of me that had to ask what if it was cancer. What if there was something that Mom was exposed to 20 years ago that I was also exposed to? I know that I’d fight with everything, but if it was the same thing Mom had, I know it would be a futile fight – no one survives that type of cancer. How scary that I’m hoping that if I get cancer someday it is one of the "good" cancers that is treatable and has a survival rate above 0%.

Things here are going well (my hypochondria notwithstanding). We are expecting our third child, to be born in late October. I’m looking forward to it, so many new things all over again.

I’ve been swimming 5 times a week for at least 30 minutes each day. I’m a little frustrated as I still weigh the same as when I was last weighed (early Oct.). I suppose I may have packed on even more weight during the holidays and have just got around to losing that. My swimming has improved a lot. I started using side stroke (so I could breathe easier) and have now moved to crawl, which is tougher because there is constant movement vs. the small pause in the side stroke. Anyway, I’ve started trying to build my stamina in the crawl starting this week. Slow going so far. I have been happy to find my body responding (positively!) to what I’ve asked it to do for me. I’m hoping that I’ll be back to putting in 25 laps per day by the end of April (my best while doing side stroke was 25 laps in 35 minutes – I want to get the crawl down to 25 laps in 30 minutes before my birthday). Eventually, I want to be able to hit the pool, swim a mile, and leave when I’m done. There are a couple guys who swim regularly who could probably get a mile (33 laps) done in 25 minutes or less. They are very smooth in the water. Hardly looks they are exerting themselves. No such smoothness from me. I probably look like some wounded harp seal being attacked by a whale. The best thing is that I am sticking with it. I do feel a lot better and know that I’m improving my health – my resting heart rate went from 90 to 70 in about 8 weeks.

I’ll have to write more later.