Dear Mom,

Today you would have turned 60. In the ideal world, where mom’s didn’t get cancer and die, this weekend would have been a blast. Mark’s family and my family would have been there – all the grandkids in one spot. Lots of noise and barely controlled chaos. I imagine we’d all have gone out for dinner last night. Instead, I visited your marker at the cemetery. I know that very little of your remains were spread there (and more were spread at the park, the ball field, and the backyard) but it is still a single place to go to remember you. It’s not that I don’t do that and can’t do it anyplace else, it is just more concrete to go there and see your name. I’m glad you did relent on the marker and allowed that as part of your final arrangements. I think Dad goes out there fairly often. I’d not be surprised if he is out there on a daily basis as part of the walks he’s been taking.

This has been, in many ways, an easier year. Not as many “firsts” without you. The anniversary was hard. Had me realizing I’d not heard your voice in over a year. Now the second anniversary is coming and I’m realizing again how long it has been. Okay, I admit, I probably am thinking that at some level every day.


We have found some home movies with you on them. It was good to see you and hear your voice. I’ll eventually get through them all, maybe learn how to transfer them to DVD. Maybe hit Mark up for any and all home movies he has with you. A way for your grandkids to be able to hear your voice and see you. A way for all of us to remember you.

You missed a couple of pretty big things in the past year. The happiest thing is Ella. She is so beautiful. I love her smile and her laugh. She loves her big brother and sister. She’s already a handful. I spent part of this weekend wondering what you’d have thought of her. I’ve heard from Pat that Ella looks like you did as a baby. She even has curly hair, like you did when you were younger. I know a part of you is living on in her.

The other was Dad’s surgeries. The shoulder wasn’t as scary as the bypass. There were times during the bypass that I was resigned to Dad’s dying, almost expecting it when the phone rang. I never had the sense of dread, the KNOWING that it would happen, like I did during your surgery. Dad’s pretty well recovered and is continuing to exercise.

I wonder what you’d think of Dad having the motorcycle and if he’d have gotten it if you were still here. I wonder if you’d be willing to remain in Lake Wilson after the grocery store closed. I wonder how often you and Dad would be making the rounds to visit us and Mark’s family. I wonder what you’d think about Dad maybe running for mayor. I wonder what books you’d be reading, what you’d think of the new Evanovich, the new Stephen King, the new Jeffery Deaver… I wonder what shows you’d be watching and we’d be talking about. I wonder who you’d have picked to win the Emmy’s tonight. I wonder how many books you’d have read to and how many board games you’d have played with your grandkids this weekend.

I think the mourning has stopped. I’m still grieving, though. Always will. I love you and miss you, especially on the day we would have celebrated a milestone with you.

Love,
Cory

Okay, promised to rant about my disdain for country music and the proof I have that rock is superior. Before I get into that, it has been awhile. I’m hoping to get this all up to date over the next week or so, but know that I’m horrible about posting. In June, within a week, Amy’s dad nearly died and mine had a quintuple bypass. Eventful? Yup. Pleasant? Nope.

Okay, I hit upon this whole thing while doing some filing in the medical dept. at the prison. The woman that runs the records room always has the radio tuned to a country station. Country isn’t as “nails on a chalkboard” for me as it used to be, but there are very few artists I can take and with some of them, only a few songs for a limited amount of time. Anyway, the song “Best I Ever Had” comes on the radio, sung with a twang that made my ass pucker. I’m used to the Vertical Horizon version, which doesn’t sound like a cowboy is about to go all Brokeback on someone.

A week later, I was in there and heard “When the Stars Go Blue.” I’m used to the version by the Corrs w. Bono (who, as we all know, gets a lot of puss.) but did know that Ryan Adams had originally done the song. Not this version though. More twang, more ass puckering (not a good thing at a male prison!). What really drove me nuts was the nurses in there were talking about what a great song it was. I agree it is a good song, but should NEVER be sung by Cowboy Curtis.

A few days after THAT, I was over there again and heard a country rendition of Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight.” AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!

I got to thinking back to how country music has remade pop and rock hits, something you don’t regularly see being reciprocated by pop and rock stars. Don’t see Metallica dong a remake of a Garth Brooks song. Just ain’t happening folks! The only notable exception I can recall is Whitney Houston remaking Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You.” That. Is. About. IT! So, country has to come to pop and rock to get their hits. That tells me they are seeing superior songs outside their genre. If the artists in country are seeing superior songs outside of country, I have to believe that the pop and rock genres are vastly superior to country. The artists’ actions bear this out! When Dolly Parton goes out and remakes “Stairway to Heaven,” something’s wrong with the state of country.

I’ll admit grudgingly that there have been remakes by country artists that improved on the original – Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” is so raw. He took what Nine Inch Nails’ song and made it his own. You can tell he connected with the lyrics and wasn’t just singing this remake for a paycheck. Garth Brooks’ version of “Shameless” kick the original by Billy Joel in the ass. Probably because Brooks made the song rock, something Joel has never been capable of doing. I’m torn about the remake the Dixie Chicks did of “Landslide.” I felt it was respectful of the original and did improve on the vocals (less nasal than the Fleetwood Mad version). I’m leaning toward this being another example of country improving on the original, but can’t pull that trigger yet. At this point, they are equals to my ears.

But it drives me nuts when a country star has no sense of the song, no sense of the artist who’s originally performed it, putting their heart and soul into it. Or, the country artist who tries to take something that so rocked and turn it into something bouncy and poppy and country. Faith Hill took a great big shit on “Piece of My Heart.” I was shocked, shocked when Amy told me she’d never heard the version performed by Joplin, only the one by Faith Hill (which makes my teeth rot when I hear it – too… sweet, not enough angst). For my wife, the version by Hill will always be the first way she experienced the song. Faith Hill should be labeled a terrorist for that alone.

Going to go and listen to hear what the country artists will be ripping off next. Can’t blame them for taking the songs from the best and dumbing them down for the average country fan.