The trip to my parents went well. Mom continues to have more energy and looks and sounds better than she has in months. If it weren't for the damned cancer, she'd be doing great!

I had the opportunity to talk with her again about everything. I think I get more out of it because I am letting her know how I'm feeling, the fear I have, that I understand her decision (and I believe I truly do - if she only has a few month left, she doesn't want to spend the time feeling miserable).

She and Dad talked with us about the financial stuff they'd gotten done so Mark and I will have access to their accounts if they were both to pass on. Yep, there is now the "POD" designation by Mark and my name on their account. Payable on death.

Also got to discuss Mom's funeral plans. Cremation, no viewing, no stone, no urn (I suggested a nice piece of tuperware), a memorial (though Mom doesn't think anyone would show up -- I'd like to think her loved ones would easily fill their church). Mom did agree to allow us to add her name to the stone Dad wants following his passing (cheerful thought - both parents dead). Not that she'll have a lot of say in the matter at that point.

She has an appointment with a doctor for a second opinion on Wednesday. She's not getting her hopes up and is primarily doing this (I think) to satisfy her family who is telling her she has to find out if there are other options available. She is going to see an OB-GYN who has some experience in treating women with ovarian cancer. Mom had no confidence in her previous oncologist, especially when he told her that the medications he was giving would control her nausea, then telling Mom's GP that he (the oncologist) had anticipated the nausea being bad enough that Mom would need to be admitted. That, and the oncologist didn't look Mom in the eyes at her visit. She took that to mean she was dead anyway.

Anyway, I continue to pray for a miracle. Maybe the cancer will just go away. Maybe the glyconutrients will help. Maybe prayer will help. Maybe... Maybe nothing will help and Mom will be dead before my daughter turns 5. Maybe nothing will help and Mom will be dead before I turn 32. I keep praying for the best, but the negative does overpower me from time to time. I love her so much and want her grandchildren growing up knowing who she is, not just who the lady in the picture is.

Gotta go before I can't stop crying.

Continuing to take it day by day.