Mom passed away today around 9:30 AM. She was officially pronounced at around 10 AM by the hospice nurse. Dad had been back to check on her around 9:20. At about 9:45, Dad got back from an errand he was running and was told by a family friend, Linda Johnson, that Mom wasn’t breathing and that hospice had been called. Mom went in her sleep and went peacefully. She hadn’t eaten in 41 days and had dropped to 105 lbs. It sounds like either on Monday or Tuesday, she was dehydrated to the point where she could no longer close her eyes. Dad said he tried to get Mom’s eyes closed after she’d passed, but was unable to do so.

On Tuesday night, Dad helped Mom to the bathroom. When she was finished, she said something to the effect that she was done and started to stand up. She collapsed at that point and was not responsive to Dad’s questions. Dad said she had a couple gagging episodes on Tuesday night into early morning, but seemed to settle between 6 and 7.

I got the call from Dad around 10:50. I heard his voice and knew. It was the call I’d been dreading and praying for since October. I immediately left work and drove home, doing 75 – 80 MPH, bawling my eyes out and thanking God for ending her suffering during several stretches of road. I got home and we got on the road. Before we left, Mark called and said that they weren’t going to pull the kids from school but would get home after they pulled the kids. We got to Lake Wilson around 2:30 (after a stop in Sioux Falls to pick up some boxes of tissues and some food the kids will eat to keep at Grandpa’s house). We saw Dad walking. I got out and walked home with him and got the details of Mom’s passing. When we passed the barber shop, Jack came out and gave us a hug. Definitely a small town thing. The news of Mom’s passing had spread through the town before I got there.

We went to a meeting at the funeral home around 5. They were transporting Mom’s remains to be cremated at 6. Mark ended up getting there (with Shannon and Mariah) at 5:45. I’d not been sure if I wanted to view her, but looked into the room where she was and saw her. I had said my goodbyes to her over the past month, most recently on Saturday. Her last words to me were, "I love you." What more could a son wish for?

Mom left an envelope for each of us. I’ve not read it yet. Will probably let it go until Saturday after the service. Before will likely leave me a blubbering wreck.

We all went in to view her. She looked like she was at peace, which is what we’ve all prayed for since the cancer came back. The viewing was good in that it gave both kids a chance to see her. Cole just stared and probably had no idea what was going on. Accalia understands that Grandma is in heaven, that her body is simply what she left behind.

Mom had started planning her funeral back in 1992. The funeral director didn’t have a lot for us to go through as Mom had made her wishes clear. The hymns she wanted, the bible verses, the order of service, instructions re: her cremation, music she wanted played at the service. Everything done. Probably the best gift a parent can give to their children and surviving spouse. One of Mom’s wishes was that David and Linda (who Mom considered her "second sister") be seated with the family. Dad asked that if I had a problem with it. I don’t. If it hadn’t been Mom’s wishes, I’d like to think I’d have suggested it myself. David and Linda have both been incredible to Mom and Dad in the last year. They are family. Their son and I consider each other’s parents to be our surrogate parents on some level. I consider him a brother. They ARE family.

The memorial is going to be on Saturday at 10:30 AM. Visitation starts at 9:30 and a family service at 10:15. Dad asked that I say something at the service. Have no idea what I’m going to say or how I’m going to even be at the memorial. Mark said later that he agreed I should speak as that is something I’m good at doing and that he’d be unable to say anything as he’ll likely be crying so hard.

On the way home from the funeral home, Mark’s van (being driven by Shannon) blew a tire. Another little memory for a day that will live in infamy in our family.

Mark, Shannon, and Mariah ended up heading back to Mitchell at about 7:30 or 8:00. Mark had promised to take Mariah to the SD football playoffs if her old school, Gettysburg, made it to state. They made it and play Friday night at 5:30 PM. So, Amy and I are here with Dad. I’m going to go with him tomorrow to get some business cleared up, order flowers at the greenhouse, go to Worthington to get him a new white shirt, and go to the insurance company that issued Mom’s health insurance to cancel the policy. I’d have liked it if at least Mark had stayed so he could be along as we do some of those things, but they’ll apparently be back after the football game Fri. night.

It is truly a blessing that Mom was taken. I don’t know how much more she could have endured and definitely don’t know how much more we could have taken. I miss her SO much, but have already been talking with her, letting her know how happy I am that she is finally free of the pain and letting her know that we’ll be okay here until we join her.

I was truly blessed to have you as my mother. The man I am now is a direct result of what you and Dad did to raise me. I love you and I’ll miss you as long as I live.