Kids had fun tonight and it was a beautiful night.

Mom is still hanging on. We stopped on Friday and again today to see her. The vomitting has worsened a bit and she is no longer taking even tne nectar, meaning she is taking in no calories. She is very skinny, even more so than when I saw her last week.

Since Amy last saw her two weeks ago, I think the change in Mom hit her hard. It is one thing to hear that a person had lost a lot of weight, another to see it in person.

On Friday, Cole brought in his truck and "talked" to us while we sat with Mom. He started giiving people five. Mom put out her hand for Cole, who eagerly gave firve to his Grandma.

The life is gone from her eyes, though. She is so, so ready to die. I'm getting so pissed with my creator for not having mercy on her and releasing her from the prison she is in right now. I keep praying and nothing happens other than she gets worse and worse. That is fine, but let it end. Dad has been wonderful with Mom, but this is taking more out of him each day.

FUCK!

I keep telling myself that everything happens in its own time. Mom and Dad always were preaching patience to me (esp. Mom, probably because she was relatively short in that area herself). I have learned more patience over the years. I know that I can not comprehend what God has planned for my mother and that it is not mine to know. I can only continue to pray for her to not be in pain anymore and that God continue to sustain Dad and give all of us strength in the days and weeks to come.


Psalm 121 :: New International Version (NIV)

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD ,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip-
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you-
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm-
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.