Managed to end the trip by getting a nasty cold. Everyone in the family is sick, including my brother, who is actually going to use some of his sick time tomorrow (and he never does that, so he must really be feeling crappy).

Our trip to Mankato was delayed by a couple of hours. Accalia ended up throwing up a couple of times in the night but was fine after getting a nap in this morning. We got to the in-laws and spent most of the week eating and visiting friends and family. We even braved some of the holiday crowds to shop a little, though not as much as the week wore on and Christmas approached.

We were up bright and early on Christmas day to head to my aunt’s house. The kids were awesome as far as traveling went on the long journeys. We got to my aunt’s, had dinner, visited. It was nice. There was a huge hole in all our lives, but it was nice to be there just the same.

As the holiday neared, I was more and more grouchy, snappy with the kids and Amy, etc. I did finally break down a couple of times. I still don’t want Mom to be gone. To see my Dad’s pain hurts me so much. He doesn’t let it out a lot, just gives glimpses and regains his composure. We invited Dad to come to our house for New Year’s, as he and Mom used to get together with their friends in L.W. that night. Dad wasn’t sure what he’d do at this point. I won’t be surprised if he opts to stay there and have an evening with his friends.

I found myself wanting to tell Mom about Accalia getting sick and how I’d slept beside her on the air mattress on the floor. How I’d managed to clean her up and the spots where she threw up without throwing up (or wanting to) myself. Big events in the life of a parent. I miss hearing the sounds Mom would make when she was worried about us.