We went and saw my parents on Saturday. Mom is sleeping a lot, not constantly, though, so we were able to talk. She said that she knew when the cancer came back that she would likely not have the strength to fight it. We talked about how proud we were of her for fighting as hard and as long as she did. We cried together and prayed together. Mom is confident that she'll be going to heaven.

It is comfort to think that the pain she's felt over the past year will soon disappear and she'll leave her earthly body behind. I'm just going to miss her SO much. I definitely feel better after talking with her and after seeing Dad. He's accepted that this will be the end as well. It hurts seeing him in pain because I know his pain isn't going to end any time soon. Mom's likely will within a week or so.

Before we left, I had my final talk with Mom. I pray that it wasn't truly the final talk, but if it is, I'm satisfied with what we said. We talked about my family and how Accalia has a problem with pooping in the toilet. I'd had similar problems as a child and Mom expressed regret that she'd shamed me about that. I don't really remember my parent's making a huge deal about the whole thing, but there are apparently some episodes Mom is recalling. I told her I didn't think I needed to forgive her for anything, but that if it would make her feel better, I'd forgive her. She was relieved by this and said it may help her move a little closer to moving on. I had a very difficult time leaving the room. I finally did. She said "Goodbye." I told her I loved her and she said she loved me. If those are the last words I hear from my mother, they are more than enough.

The kids and Amy all got to see Mom. Accalia gave her a kiss on the forehead. Not sure if Cole gave any kisses, but he was in and out of the room while we were in there with Mom. It did her good to see the grandkids.

Mark and his familly arrived Sat. evening. They have not told their kids about Mom's condition or that it might be the last time they see her alive. We have been up front with our kids about it. Accalia knows that her grandma is going to heaven and will be with Lucy. She doesn't have any sadness about it and is happy that Grandma Nelson will be going to live with Jesus. At 2, I doubt Cole has any understanding about what is about to happen. My niece is 11, my nephew is going to be 8 or 9, my other nephew is 3. When my dad's mother died, I was about the same age as my niece and I knew of my grandma's condition. I was sad, but at least I knew what was going to happen and could treasure the time I had with her.

Amy went out today and bought clothes for the kids to wear to the funeral. I tried on my suir yesterday to see if it would do. It's a bit snug, but will work. I don't want to buy a new suit. I'm not being cheap, I just don't want a suit that I always think of as "the suit I bought for my mother's funeral."

Mom's brother and his wife stopped on their way back to WI after they'd vacationed in the SW U.S. He had been one of the biggest advocates of her fighting the cancer. He has come to accept that there is nothing more to be done and I think got to say his goodbyes to Mom. Her mother, step-father, sister, and brother-in-law were going there today. I think her brother from OK will also be up, though I don't know for sure.

We're planning on being there on Wednesday and part of Thursday. I have no idea how Mom will be. At this point, she is continuing to do okay. I think when she does take a turn, it will be mercifully quick. Please God, let it be quick and as painless as possible.