Don’t know if I mentioned it, but one thing we found as we were doing everything on Thursday was the order of service Mom wanted at the memorial, also a paraphrase of a poem she’d done in 8th grade declamatory. We managed to get that to the pastor today (Friday) as Mom wanted it included in the sermon.

Dad had a little running around to do today (had to get his medication) and opted to do it alone. Said he needed some time by himself. We had several people from the community stop by during the day, dropping off food. I think we had 2 lasagnas, a hotdish, and buns and deli meat for sandwiches, not to mention pies. I remember it being like that when my Grandma Nelson died.

We took Dad and the kids to McDonalds for lunch (actually, Dad ended up taking us out as he refused to let me pay). It was good for the kids to be able to cut loose a little and play with some kids their age for a little while. After lunch, we stopped at a store to pick up some copies of the Argus Leader that had Mom’s obituary in it. We’d seen the one that had run earlier in the Worthington Daily Globe. Hard to see that in the paper. Since Mom was diagnosed, I actually look through the obits., I’d never really done it before. It is so sad seeing someone’s life boiled down to a few paragraphs.

Also while we were in Pipestone, we stopped at the hotel Mom’s brother, Ken and his wife would be staying at along with Mom’s parents. We let them know we had a lot of food and wanted them to come over to dinner in the evening.

When we got back, Dad and I went to the church. There was already a plant there, from the public school in Edgerton, where Dad substitute teaches. The principal there used to coach track with Dad (and coached Mark and I in track) and thinks a lot of Dad. It broke Dad up to see that. Our primary objective for the trip was to set up the photos of Mom. I’d found the one taken of her when her engagement to Dad was announced. We had that one and the one of Mom in her wedding dress out in front, the board we’d put together on a couple of easels.

We invited David and Linda to come to the meal in the evening as well. They and Mom’s family arrived and we ate and cried and shared memories of Mom. My uncle Ken had a hard time when he came in the door. He was having a hard time being in his sister’s house knowing that she wasn’t there. When they all first arrived, my uncle Neil (Mom’s oldest brother) called to tell us where he and his family were and that they’d not be coming as it was too tough for him to see Mom’s house without her being there.

After everyone left, I started to work on my remarks for the memorial on Saturday. I’d jotted down some notes, and Dad asked me to thank hospice and Linda for everything they did for Mom in her last days. I had a real tough time writing it down. I wanted to find some quote that summed everything up, but couldn’t find anything that really fit. I thought of a lyric by Sarah McLachlan, "Hold on to yourself, ‘cause this is going to hurt like hell." Also some other lyrics ran through my head, predominately of a song by Girlyman. At any rate, at some point, Amy came in and basically told me to stop agonizing about it and get it done, let it flow from the heart. She’d read the notes I’d made and thought it was good. I finally did get to work.

As I was going through and doing some revisions, Mark and his family arrived. The kids’ old school was in the SD football championship game, so they’d been at the Dakota Dome in Vermillion until the game was over. It was about 10:30 when they arrived. My nephew, Chandler came in by the computer and asked what I was doing. When I told him, he informed me that his mother (my sil) said that I’d not be able to say anything at the memorial because I’d be crying so much. Chandler then started to try to tease me about my crying (he’s going to be 8 in a few days) and I told him that I may cry because I’m sad about what happened and missing Mom a lot. When he tried to continue to make fun of me for actually having emotions, I chose to engage in some selective inattention. The remarks are done and sitting on the dining room table for Dad to look over in the morning. Mark and Shannon brought their board w. pictures of Mom, which we’ll get up there tomorrow. I need to get to sleep. We need to be there tomorrow by 9:30 and I don’t want Dad to be there alone (Amy is staying back w. the kids, not sure re: Mark).