Today was easier for me, but tougher for Dad. He broke down once and has taken a couple of walks as I think he uses them to let loose without worrying about appearing strong for us.

I woke up this morning very early, around 6 and was unable to sleep anymore. When we were all waking up and getting going this morning, part of me was still expecting Mom to come out and ask how I’d slept and ask Amy if she needed anything for breakfast. Guess that’ll fade. Probably helps that she’d been declining over the last five weeks.

A couple things that Dad has told me have been a comfort to me. The first is that when Mom passed, Linda said that she felt as though she’d been hit in the stomach, then saw Mom’s face. Mom was smiling.

The second: Mom’s sister, mother, and step-father were down on Monday. My aunt asked Mom if she could see anything when she closed her eyes. Mom responded by saying "It’s so beautiful."

I am confident that Mom knew Jesus was her savior and had a place waiting for her in heaven. Those two things are a comfort because I can more easily envision Mom happy and in a better place.

A funny thing happened when everyone was visiting. Mom held up three fingers. They asked what Mom meant. She said, "You have three minutes until you have to leave." (she was very tired at this point). When everyone left, she sat on her bed and waved to everyone, saying "Bye-bye." Mom was eager for them to leave so she could get some rest.

Mom’s brother and his wife from OK is now at my Grandma’s. They and Mom’s sister (and family) will be coming as far as Pipestone, MN tomorrow. Don’t know who all is going to be at the memorial. Sounds like Dad’s sisters will be there and all Mom’s siblings and their spouses and half of Mom’s nieces will be there as well.

Went with Dad today to the bank in Slayton. We walked in and the person he needed had heard about Mom’s death on the radio and gave Dad a hug. We closed out Mom’s IRA and got the money transferred. From there we went to the greenhouse to pick out the arrangement for Mom. Then we went on to Avoca to the insurance company. We cancelled Mom’s health insurance. Then it was on to Worthington to get Dad a new shirt. Then back to Slayton to get some groceries (there were several people in the store who knew Dad and squeezed his shoulder, shared a word with him, or hugged him – the benefits of small communities) and finally back home.

We went to the church this afternoon to try out the music Mom wanted played at the service. Dad and I listened from a few points in the church. Once we knew we had it, we both started crying listening to the songs Mom wanted.

There have been a couple of people who’ve stopped to pay their respects and bring food. We’ve also gotten several calls, including one I got from my friend, Eric, which really lightened my day as he helped me recall some of the happy memories of Mom.

Dad said that Mom wanted the flowers at her service to go to the nurses at the hospital in Slayton as they’d been so good to her.

After supper tonight, we put together all the photos we could find of Mom onto poster board and a bulletin board which will be displayed at the church (as the remains won’t be there). So many memories. So many smiles that Mom had in the photos, especially when with the grandkids.

Having some negative feelings about Mark not being here. I understand his wanting to keep the kids in as normal a routine as possible, but I can recall missing a couple days of school when my Grandma Nelson died. I wonder if Mark just can’t handle being here at the moment. I was talking with Amy about it and had a thought pop in my head – Mom talking to me about getting along with my brother, putting things behind me, because after she and Dad are gone, we’ll only have each other. So, I’m taking that as Mom intervening to remind me to let it go. It’s Mark’s issue, not mine. I’m able to be here for Dad, and for that I’m thankful.